How curious

Did a concert on Sunday night and for the first time in my performing experience I think the audience didn't like it. Or, they liked it but they didn't feel like clapping. I don't know. Arturo and others in the audience who have heard me before said I did a great job, up to my usual standards, and it was the listeners who had the problem. It was such an odd feeling: lots of things that in the past have been sure-fire laugh getters or audience pleasers just kind of fell flat. In one way, it made me work harder, but then at a certain point I realized I wasn't going to cajole or invigorate or cattle-prod them into being "into" the evening, so I just figured, the hell with it. I'll do the best I can for ME and I'll just have as much fun as I can. But it was very hard to relax & carry through with that intent. It was like there was a big wall out there between me and the audience.

Maybe it was too much of a "holy" crowd for the material? There's no way to know. Nobody forced them to attend......they could have just sent a check for the charity & skipped the show. My friend Britt said that everyone seemed more interested in the food than in the entertainment. (The leftover scraps I was able to taste after the performance WERE really good.) I believe she used the word "stampede" to describe the general hubbub when all the food was put out. Maybe everyone had postprandial doze syndrome.

Whatever the cause, it was a very odd sensation. I can see why young performers could take a [non] reaction like that very personally, feel rejected, etc. Thank God I have more sense/ego than that. But it's a feeling, and an evening, I'd not care to repeat.