Friday, October 29, 2010

Core values

I was given an assignment by my therapist to write down some of my core values. Being, at heart, a diligent student, I have worked hard on the task, and have come to the conclusion that it was a very smart and sneaky assignment. The process of thinking through these things has really helped me readjust my outlook and let go of the awful "dog" of depression that so plagued me at the end of the summer.

In the process I've discovered that I'm a moderate....my writing sounds like the "This above all, to thine own self be true" speech of Polonius in "Hamlet". I kept coming up with words that were little fulcrum spots between extremes. Words like "tidy", rather than clean vs. messy. "Thrifty", rather than cheap vs. spendthrift. Maybe moderation and balance are qualities that become more appealing with age? I used to be so hard on myself, with so little tolerance for anything less than perfection. I still have no use for fools, misspellings, pomposity, bad pitch, people who wear medical scrubs in public, ads for prescription drugs, nonsensical rules, the editorial content of the Wall St. Journal, invasive thorny vines, most popular music, middle management, telephone trees ("press 1 to report a problem"), over-familiarity, and too many other pet peeves to detail here.

But I have a weakness for anyone who sings when they work; those who are kind to old people; anything that makes me stop and take notice (like the display of pomegranates in the grocery the other day); attention to detail in otherwise unimportant things. I like punctuality. I'm a big fan of courage, especially when paired with a smidge of braggodocio, as when John Hancock signed his name to the Declaration of Independence so large that the King could see it without his glasses. Make me laugh and I'm yours forever. A good argument is a wonderful thing--but the emphasis here is on "good", where points are argued with vehemence and conviction, from a place of knowledge and passion, and never descends into the personal.

People have often asked Arturo, "How did you decide to be a musician?", and his response is always, "I didn't decide. It picked me." I am a total, drop-dead fan of people who fall into that category in any pursuit, and have nothing but pity for those who just muddle along. I am acutely aware that as an educated, healthy, white, upper-middle-class American, I am disproportionately blessed with advantages, but I surely have seen many similarly blessed who squander their assets. Give me passion above all!! Otherwise, why bother living?

Pre-Halloween Thoughts

Gee, the last time I wrote something was in August, and it started out with "I'm depressed". Thank goodness things have changed! I'm still distressed about the state of the world; about what may happen after next week's elections; about my continuing nursing/singing dichotomy; but I no longer feel so tortured by it all. Maybe it's the passing of the ridiculously hot weather? Fall is such a great time of year. Maybe it's the few talks I've had with Jim, my very occasional therapist and always good friend. Maybe it's the mere fact that I had two weeks vacation in September. Whatever the reason, I do feel lots better, and I celebrate the change.

Sunday is Halloween, always a big to-do on Club Boulevard. Last year we had over 800 kids, and I expect at least a repeat number this year. Friends are expected to spend a little time on the front porch with us. It's a great way to catch up and enjoy some seasonally-appropriate port, or sherry, together. If you're reading this and you're in town, do feel free to drop by. The show of trick-or-treaters is unsurpassed and the company is tops!

We are also attending a wedding on Sunday afternoon. I haven't been to a wedding in so long. Our kids' friends are not yet of marrying age (at least not of their generation!) and of course most of our own cohort of friends are long settled. So this should be fun. Plus I've been asked to sing with the band--always a big plus in my book.

Glenn and I did a gig at Guglhupf restaurant a couple of weeks ago, and I had a lot of fun. Much less pressure at a restaurant venue than in a concert hall--it was easy to relax and get in the swing of the evening. Many of the ladies from my book club came, plus some friends from work, some familiar faithful fans, and my lovely Laura, who has matured into a delightful, thoughtful, intelligent, lively, and totally satisfactory young woman. A treat to be around! We went to dinner earlier this week and spent the evening in deep yet entertaining discussion, plus the restaurant (Revolution) was tops and the wine Arturo gave us (a Rioja) was just perfect.

So much to be thankful for......who cares if we spend $150 on Halloween candy? Let the wild rumpus begin!